When I think back to when I became pregnant with my son Aiden at just 15, I remember how many people “supported” me. So many of my peers and people I had never even met were telling me how amazing I was, how I was a roll-model for choosing life for my baby at such a young age. You would think that then, when I was only 15, a sophomore in High School, living with my parents, not knowing how to take care of a child, I wouldn’t have been a “roll-model.” Shortly (and I mean very shortly) after I had Aiden I knew things wouldn’t work out with his dad. He wouldn’t even stay to help me at night with the baby, he lived in the opposite town and couldn’t miss a day of school, so I had to sacrifice going to school. I have been Aiden’s sole provider since he was first born. With all the obstacles I had to overcome, I ended up with Emmitt. I had never been so in love with anyone, the man is still to this day my very best friend. In October of 2014, we found out that we were expecting.
We were very nervous at first, as anyone would be finding out about an un-planned pregnancy but we were ready. We had our own home together, we were both making good money, had great safe cars. We weren’t some teenagers who still needed mom and dad to pay for things, or help us out. We moved away solely on our own, to start our own family together. After getting out of the fear of miscarriage point of pregnancy, we happily shared the news to the world in December of 2014.
We were so excited! That’s where the story changes, we were expecting so much happiness and excitement (which don’t get me wrong, we did get.) but the amount of disgusting feedback we got, was insane. I was not expecting any of it, considering when I had my son three years prior I was supposedly a roll-model. I didn’t understand, why was it that since my son’s father never stepped up for us, never took care of us, hell for months before I finally called it off he wouldn’t come see us except maybe once every two weeks or so, that I didn’t deserve to move on? Was I never supposed to have more children because my children would have different fathers? Even though I was 18 when I had my second, that was my business. I didn’t feel 18 because I had to grow up so fast.
Those are some examples of what everyone had to say about our exciting news. I had another one sent to me posted by the same girl, stating that she was worried about my kids well-being. My kids well-being?! You’ve got to be kidding me right? I would die for my children. I take care of them, I do everything for them, who is this person that has never even personally met me to be talking about my children’s well-being? I thought about crossing them out, so you couldn’t see who posted them but then I thought why would I? These were posted publically. Here’s the reality of my situation, I am not the first mother with two fathers for their children, and I won’t be the last. Almost everyone I know, even my own boyfriend, my mom, my Bestfriend all have a half sibling. Does that make their mothers bad moms, or their fathers bad dads? Absolutely not. I chose what was best for my son and I, and I wouldn’t change our life at all. Growing up, my children will never know they are half siblings. They won’t see a difference between two siblings with the same father, and themselves. Aiden loves his sister with all his heart, he is the best big brother ever! I’m proud of where my family is today. How many 19 year olds work great paying jobs and own their own house? We’re the only ones I know of. As for myself, I now know what it feels like to have people trying to publically humiliate you, and it’s not a good feeling. However, I didn’t let it bring me down and it only made me realize the kind of person I don’t want to be. The kind of person I will not let my children grow up to be. My daughter Karsyn is a blessing. She has brought so much joy into our lives and I’m thankful to be a young mother, because that just means I’ll get to spend more of my life with them my side.